20 Unsexiest Beautiful People

Ok, this is pushing the shallowness barrier even for us, but the article's description of Orlando Bloom definitely requires a post:

11) Orlando Bloom
If Orlando Bloom had left acting after Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't be on this list. But few could have predicted the bomb that would soon drop on poor, simple Orlando. Here's a tip: when signing on as a romantic lead, make sure that your co-star doesn't out-sexy you while playing an STD-riddled criminal. Pirates of the Caribbean found Bloom totally overshadowed by Johnny Depp's allure, and he didn't help his own case by playing Will Turner as the most milquetoast pirate in history. Once he appeared in the unwatchable (and boring)Elizabethtown and the unwatchable (and offensively stupid) Troy, whatever spark he'd had in Middle-Earth had gone the way of elfenkind

Full Article:

http://www.nerve.com/dispatches/nerveeditors/20-unsexiest-beautiful-people/index.asp?page=1

Rep. Hank Johnson's Guam

This is the sort of verbal connect-the-dots-gone-wrong that Donald Rumsfeld would be proud of. His quote below:

"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."

But on to the business at hand. Rep. Hank Johnson of Georgia. I am amazed that during his lengthy estimate of the dimensions of Guam that no one shrieked, "AND YOUR POINT?!?!?!?!?" That would be have been me. If I was there. But sadly I was not.

So Johnson claims that he was being "metaphorical." Does that mean sarcastic? Because if so, I suggest you take some lessons in sarcasm, because THAT my friend, was NOT sarcasm. That just sounded insane. Next time you want to make a point, just make a point. Don't try to amble about the proverbial bush asking strange questions. Doesn't work.

Random Number: 1.4

1.4 out of 10 is the number that the 7 lowest-rated movies on IMDB.com all share. It's amusing to me that I've actually seen two of them, albeit with riffing provided by the magnificence that is Mystery Science Theater 3000, a cult tv show that is built on making fun of terrible movies.

Inappropriate!

The third news headline:

Tweedle D's Top Ten List #2: Lamest Tattoos

*Definition: Lame (noun) Meaning pointless

or poorly-drawn; laughable

10. 

Alright, this is not the worst of tattoos, it has a message of sorts, however inane. But on your shins? Really? And it should be "it's," as in, "It is time to party." Ridiculous.

9.

This is drawn rather nicely, but it's completely pointless. Is it inked in memory of your favorite arm chair, pal? Your dream arm chair? What is going on?!

8.

Again, not a terrible ink job, but why would you EVER, EVER get this done?

7.

This is just sad. So very, very sad. It looks like a middle schooler drew it in sharpie marker.

6.

The coloring is nice, but I wonder if it's healthy to love Tetris quite this much.

5.

LEARN TO SPELL! Or are we supposed to linger on the "mmmm," sound in summer, as if we savored it. And nothing captures the sweetness of summer like a lopsided anchor.

4.

So awsome, man. Who needs that 'E'? I'm awsome without it.

3.

Horrible. Why is the 8 practically hidden? And those wings, they wouldn't carry Tweety bird. Sickening.

2.

This just confuses me. "Hey, man, what's that?" "It's a chair!" "...Yeah. Yeah, it is."

1.

The ugliest tattoo I have ever seen. Everything is wrong with it. It just...it hurts my soul.

Happy Easter

On account of this weekend being Easter weekend, we will be taking a break, but will be back on Tuesday.

John 3:16-17 (New International Version)

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

*sigh*

Many of you may be aware of Miley Cyrus' latest attempt at acting, starring Greg Kinnear (very disappointed) and Liam Hemsworth (for the sake of kindness I will not comment on Ms. Cyrus' co-star and current boyfriend). Deliciously sardonic New York Times movie-reviewer A. O. Scott wrote a hilarious and biting review of the film that has, over the past two hours, become very near and dear to me. Well played, Mr. Scott, well played. Here is one of my favorite quotes and I will post the link below so that you may revel in the full glory of this well-deserved criticism:

"So much more trouble ensues that “The Last Song,” if not for its sluggish pacing and soft lighting, might turn into farce. In addition to the terminal illness (signaled by a telltale cough around the movie’s midpoint), there is a church fire that Ronnie’s dad is believed to have started, a wayward friend with a bad boyfriend, another friend with a dead brother, a nest of sea turtle eggs menaced by a raccoon, and a romance — did I mention it was star-crossed? — with a hunky beach volleyball player named Will. That’s Mr. Hemsworth, a star graduate of the Taylor Lautner Academy of Shirtless Emoting." A. O. Scott, New York Times (04/01/10)

http://movies.nytimes.com/2010/03/31/movies/31last.html?ref=movies